idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize