I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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