Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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