Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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