I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize