Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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