If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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