Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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