I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize