Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
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Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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