You can't special order awesome
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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