Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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