i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize