Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
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I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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