well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize