Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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