OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize