im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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