"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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