ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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