honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize