Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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