please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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