the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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