Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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