when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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