Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize