everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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