youre lurking in front of me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize