So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize