do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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