i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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