ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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