somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize