I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize