Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
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If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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