I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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