WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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