What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize