WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize