he puts the penis in happiness.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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