whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize