So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize