Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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