Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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