I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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