I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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