Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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