Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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