Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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