I wanna bring you to show and tell
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize